May be too intense for some viewers.

...and it made me really sad.  Sad because we used to be pretty into each other, or so I thought.  We used to talk a lot anyway and had plenty of friends in common, still do I guess.  I helped you during a tough time, not to oblige you but because it was the right thing to do, and also at the moment I was the only one who could do it. I continued to defend you when others talked shit about you, and kept an eye out against those that would exploit you.I bent over backwards trying to keep things on the straight and narrow until circumstances were ready for more, and when that time came I traveled across the continent to meet you.

And you totally bailed.  Your excuse was completely lame given the circumstances and you quickly dropped right off the radar, no doubt in shame or guilt.  I'd seen you pull a fade a few times because you were not at liberty to live openly, and understood the need for it, but I guess some defenses become just too comfortable, too ingrained to drop when they are no longer needed.  Oh, I know you were young and dumb, we've all been there, and I chalk it up to that more than any malice.  I was pretty naive considering, should have seen it coming.

I looked through your pictures and you are beautiful as always, but now every picture just saddens me.  

I do not want to be your friend. I want things to be like I thought they were, but that ship has sailed. I WAS your friend, though apparently you didn't realize it, or didn't appreciate it.

You taught me a lot about appearances and internet friends though, and I suppose I should thank you for that.

I wish you well and I hope you will treat those in you present and future with honesty and openness now that you have the secure freedom to.

If you are going to use the internet to get on chat sites, even if you have limited time to spend online, don't be an aloof douchebag.  If someone messages you and you aren't interested in them, you could at least say "thanks for the message, I am rarely online and replies may be delayed" as a way to acknowledge their existence without saying "and I dont want to talk to you" but even that would be kinder than simply ignoring messages until they complain that you are being rude.  Cause *then* when you finally respond and give some lame excuse as to why they shouldn't take it personal and "its the internet for Christ' sake" you can go fuck yourself, it's far too late to justify your actions.  If you didn't care enough to actually respond when friendly conversation was offered, why do you care to defend yourself from accusations of douchebaggery?  Just take it like a man and keep hitting delete.

When you are getting on so well with a guy online (or in person, or any combo thereof)  that you are making plans for him to travel across the country (or you to travel to him) to spend time "getting to know" each other and so forth, that isn't flirting.  That's an overture.

So therefore, when you later publicly (but indirectly) reveal you're dating someone else, it doesn't look good. And don't bother repeating that overture if things don't work out with the new beau. 

If you were talking smack with me behind his back, you'll talk smack with someone else behind mine.

Smell ya later.

I just had a guy (YES bitches on BEAR411) tell me he couldn't get a job in Atlanta as a manager because there were no jobs thanks to Dubya.

So.....there are no management jobs in Atlanta?! *Nothing* in Atlanta needs managing and its George Bush's personal fault you're unemployed?

*sigh*  Well if that's your idea of taking ownership / responsibility for your actions and life, no wonder you can't get a job as a manager.

PLZDIAFSRSLYKTHXBYE.

That post about the big changes coming in the next year? Well at least one of the major players in that scenario is off the table due to the fact that they are um, how to put this delicately...IN THE NUTHOUSE and thus not physically or mentally able to engage in the activities that were making them such a big player in the coming year.

At this point I'm waiting for total aphasia to set in.

It's always amusing to put your ear to the grapevine and hear that people that don't know shit about you, are talking shit about you behind your back.

I know I'm just tooooo scary for you to step up and address your issues too, so you cowardly faggots can just keep hiding under your rocks and out of my sight, and we'll all go on with our lives.

...there will be circumstances that you couldn't wish upon your worst enemies, not because you care for your enemies- but because those same circumstances have happened to the ones you hold most dear.

I will have a lot more to say about it later when I have a chance - getting ready to go to Mom's (she's home! yay!) and be gone all day tomorrow cooking Xmas dinner and playing momsitter.

Big thanks to my Support Posse, the Cub Corps and especially Contender Cub.  *smooch*


As for the various cub dramas that have been unfolding in the background this week:

Sometimes you are karma's bitch, and sometimes you are its agent.  It sure feels good when you get to help it along.

Thus endeth the lesson. *bows*

Calamity.

Anyone know any gay-friendly charitable organizations, especially dealing with the homeless? I may have a client for them (no, its not me or Nate).