Where do I go to be gay?

[profundis]

So, I didn't go to Pride this year.  I told other people about it and encouraged some to go, and even thought about it a couple times, but ultimately decided to be there in spirit instead.  I still gayed it up some this weekend - went for a group bear haircut at Crazy Dave's, looked at books with hawt menz in them at the bookstore and shot 10 dozen pics of a hawt bear here at the Manse. 

I read through a lot of blog entries about people's Super Fun Happy Pride Festival! weekend and a lot of "those fags were probably sour" posts by the "too cool to wear a rainbow sticker" crowd.

I know everyone can't attend or might not enjoy such an event but I'm glad those of you who went had a good time (assuming you had a good time) and I wish the "Bah Homobug" crowd would get out and live a little.

I've gone to Pride plenty of times - gone through my "ZOMG other gay peepulz!!!!!1" phase, my "fuck the establishment homo activism" phase, my "this parade is soooo tired and what the hell is she wearing?" phase, my "found something better to do and it was too hot anyway" phase and finally  to my "wow, I can't believe I was away so long, check it out" phase of the last couple years. I'll certainly be back - I find being obligated to go helps - running the booth made me bother to slog down there from out in the burbs and hang out all day - which was great because then I could actually see what I was missing when I was at the house hiding in the AC and internets.

I can't say I would consider myself proud to be gay - I don't feel like it's some special achievement, just an accident of birth or some quirk of development I couldn't have really been cognizant of at the time - but I'm certainly not ashamed of it - and while I don't seethe with anger that everyone in the universe doesn't value my fabulosity like I did in college - I don't put up with any shit about it either - I can still shoot a betch down with a snappy zinger when need be.  I'm glad that I am at a point in my life when being gay is not the end-all-be-all of existence, but it can be enjoyed and valued in its expression - even if that is very matter of fact.  We might not need to be proud *that* we lurves the c0xxorz  but we can still be proud of *how* we lurves it. ;)

I can remember when I would have been petrified to read magazines like Out or Advocate or A Bear's Life in the store for fear someone would know I was a homo! Oh noes!  I can remember when the only time I really felt safe to be gay out loud in public was at Pride, or maybe a bar.  The internets have totally turned that around and for the better - Gen Y, thank your lucky ISP's you don't have to take out an ad in the newspaper or drive an hour to some skanky dive bar to talk to another faggot.

I chatted with some boys this weekend that are fresh off the gay turnip truck, so to speak - and even with the internet at their command, they still lived in fear or being found out, of family reprisal, of "catching AIDS" from any form of intimate contact with a man. One of them, a Clinton-era  virgin asked me if he should get tested.  One of them asked me (meaning where in Atlanta) "where do I go to be gay?" 

Well kid, you start right in front of that monitor you're staring at - the one on which you are asking to see my cock shots and show me your butt on cam.  You start by calling up AID Atlanta and getting some real information on STD's so you can wisely make choices  - stop risking your health and life wantonly and stop freaking out over the simplest and safest contacts with other men.  You start by contacting YouthPride. You start by heading into town so your folks won't see and you go to the bookstore and the library and the park and yes...to the Pride Festival.

And you start by asking someone who has been there, which you've done.  Good first step, keep going.  I got your back.

Comments

[barankhy.livejournal.com]

As for the pride stuff, I like to see it the way Dan Savage put it - that it was once used as an antidote against society's stigma of shame, similarily to the women's rights movement's "Equality now!" and the Civil Rights movement's "Black Power", only that the "You're gay - BE PROUD!" is rather overdone these days.

And it gets way too much into some people's heads, like evidenced here.

[crataegus.livejournal.com]

Much like when a Sicilian tells me they'll take care of me, I get a bit nervous when a gay man tells me he's got my back.

[bookbear.livejournal.com]

I can remember when I would have been petrified to read magazines like Out or Advocate or A Bear's Life in the store for fear someone would know I was a homo!

I was never afraid to read those. Hell, I still remember when I got caught by the convenient store clerk when I was, like 11 or 12 looking at the Playgirl.

But I'd be afraid of being caught reading them now. But that's just cuz they (mostly, but not always, but mostly) are an embarrassing pile of literary suckage.

You said this better than I could have. I was gonna have my "anti-pride parade how boring it all is but sometimes it's okay cuz I forget that for some people it's still new so keep it going I guess *le sigh*" post. And now I don't have to.

Well, maybe I still will.

[reslbear.livejournal.com]

isn't just being gay enough?

I skipped it this year also. It just wasn't in me.

[darkmirth.livejournal.com]

hear hear!
Its rational well reasoned posts like that that make my adoration for you swell ever so much. :)

[hitopcub.livejournal.com]

Granted, Bryan and I did not attend this year's Pride festivities, but I always enjoy the atmosphere around Pride. I've been out since I was 15, but didn't attend Pride until probably close to 20 or 21. Even then, I was embarrassed to tell my Mom where my friends and I were going. Now, though, I enjoy the comraderie (sp?) of Pride...the feeling of being part of something....and of course, drooling over the shirtless boys. I may not attend Pride every year, but I make sure to live my life as if everyone knows I'm gay. I know that I have positively impacted others lives by living this way and have given them the opportunity to expand their minds and their capacity to love.