May be too intense for some viewers.

I'm a licensed massage therapist (GA state licensed, nationally certified) bear in Atlanta, GA (As you've hopefully read in my bio). In addition to teaching classes I have my own practice and am always interested in hearing from folks (not just guys or gays or bears, tho that's my target market) who need or just want a good massage - either therapeutic or recreational.

( Click for more info )

If you aren't interested in massage, feel free to say howdy and browse around my journal anyway!

Discuss!

I found this little doozy on BearWhoreOneOne (of course). Let's examine! [my comments in brackets]

[Point #1: tl;dr]

"I am a 24 year old cub working his way into his first bodybuilding competition next year. I'm looking for anyone 25 or older to meet, date, have fun with, etc. I don't do random hook ups!

As far as sports go: I would much rather prefer to play them than watch. I am a 2nd degree black belt in Shotokan and a 3rd in Tae Kwan Do. I was also trained in a speciality hand to hand combat as well as weapons (shuriken, senbon, and kunai to be precise :D) I also love to play with a frisbee or baseball.. and of course.. I love to spar anyone who knows much about martial arts.

I sing, act, and also own an Alternative Health Care clinic, where I am a Clinical Herbalist and Reiki Master. I also employ a Hypnotherapist and Massage Therapist and really am in love with what I do for my patients. I'm in school for my Bachelor's in Psychology, THEN my Masters in Social Work and then will move onto Medical School [presumably time spent with you will fit in there somewhere, maybe you can help me sort all my fan mail]

If this has kept your attention (believe me.. sometimes I get bored writing it) [oh who am I kidding, I never get tired of talking about me! Do you? I didn't think so!] we will move onto my stats!

My stats:

5'11
310 lbs at 20% body fat
36" waist
62" shoulders
57" chest
17" arms
18" calves
24" legs
6" and cut
[Um, thanks for the specificity? I think I could render a 3D model off of you based on these specs]

My tastes:

I like a lot of things. I enjoy a wide variety of kink: WS, CBT, TT, and toys to name a few. I also have been known to sub occasionally and also can get into fisting. [BUT NO HOOKUPS!]

Also like travel, movies, outdoors and camping [foreshadowing...], and dining out/movies.

What I'm searching for:

I'm looking for anyone over 25 who can hang out, go out to eat or see a movie, and have a good time. Fur is definitely nice, but I'm cool with smooth guys too :). I'm interested in an LTR, but enjoy letting things happen slowly too, but it doesn't mean I don't won't hit the sheets every now and then! [Wait, I thought there were to be no hookups...]

I think in the end, what matters most to me about someone is their heart and intent. Despite that sometimes you still get hurt, but if someone has good intentions and a good heart, the chances of that for me are a lot less.

It has taken me a while to realize, that as nice as I can be to some people, some just are not going to like me, and that's cool. If you have an issue with me, be it in public or private, please consult me directly. I am very much a team player [I'm sorry, there is no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in "douche"] and I think it is more flattering to just be adults and talk about differences, and come to common ground, than be a big baby and refusing to speak about anything and keep stuff bottled up.. coz that'll just make you sick hehe. If you find or are told you are very antagonistic and hard to get along with, please, please, pass me up. I have too much going in my life to be brought down by party-poopers and joy-killers. [Words fail...]

NOTICE: IF YOUR PROFILE has lots of talk about you own masculinity, overdoing it with the outdoors and hunting. [Ta-daaaa! Remember how I said I like the outdoors and camping?] We probably will not get along. I'm not a fan of insecure people or hypersensitivity to someone who could care less about football. [What is this, I don't even]

ALSO if you profile said "nice, kind, or drama free" anywhere in it.. makes sure you are before you message me. [there will be an audit and severe penalties will be applied if you are found in violation of your drama freeness] I can see right though that real easy. [Wow! X-ray vision, too! What a catch! And to think, he hasn't even finished his psychology degree yet!]

IF you are not interested, be a man and say so. [Should I just go ahead and send you a pre-emptive notice now before we even chat?] Don't make me waste my time. [OR ELSE.]

Other than that--
Hit me up if you're interested!"
[hold on, I'm still collating criteria to see if I qualify to disturb you or not]

***
Ah, younguns! Bless their hearts! :-/

What's more tired than the bear thing?

"Post"-bears who get on bear sites to proclaim how "not a bear" they are.

Right, that's why you're on a bear chat /hookup site then, of course.

Up in the mountains with Varmint for his bestie's wedding. I'm not in the wedding but changing with the grooms party, though Varmint and I are allowed backstage access with the ladies, oh yeah...let me jut say I am not a fan of big choreographed weddings or all the crazy that along with them. Making things even better us the country-craft decor and Laura ashley meets Stepford vibe. To add insult to injury, its a dry reception (luckily I was warned so Varmint and I are *not* sipping Dasani out of those bottles, heh. ;)

 Hey guys, just letting peeps know I will be in Dallas for TBRU and available to do massages for my pals or their pals.  Just gonna do a few sessions so previous clients get first priority.  Holla!

I find it funny when the gheys that lie, cheat, steal, endanger the health of others and leave a blazing trail of heartache in their wake feel the need to make cunty comments about you because you opt out of their traveling Jerry Springer show. I guess being a bitch is all they have left.

Had a lovely last traditional "Wednesday Comics Dinner Time" with geekhound before my new later shift starts in January. Wednesday Comic Dinner Time will be moving to its new time slot "Comic Lunch Time on Alternate Weekends" or something :D

 So maybe listening to "Sodom, South Georgia" by Iron & Wine on Christmas Eve while driving through my hometown on the same road and in the same truck that I drove home from my father's funeral was not such a hot idea.

A: Profile text that's like the rough draft of a novel made of bitching, typed by a redneck monkey.  Nothing like being proactively lectured and chided by a bitter narcissist who is also illiterate!