Just..damn.

[profundis]

Chatting with a guy on 411 and he informs me that his agenda after work is to have a 3-way with two married guys. "Married to each other?" I ask, since he lives near enough to both Massachusetts and Canada for that to be the case. "Nope, to two different women" he says. Nice. I hold out the hope that at least the good ladies have given their blessing to this tryst but alas, he admits to a clandestine rendezvous. WTF? This is a cute guy - he should easily be able to get laid without playing homewrecker to TWO households simultaneously. It's one thing to do it accidentally, in the heat of the moment unexpectedly or for mistaken reasons, but to be so conscious and premeditated about it...Now I've lost all interest in him.

Comments

[injustifiiable.livejournal.com]

OMG That icon is perfect!

[xkot.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of every time someone says "he can't be gay, he has a wife and kids." The image many people have in their heads of marriage and the reality of it can be amazingly different.

I tend to agree with your feelings about the situation you've described. Premediated plans to violate the rules of a relationship (straight, gay, married, dating, whatever) are not sexy.

[profundis.livejournal.com]

He seems to feel that the fact he's been single for a few years and the local faggotry doesn't suit him makes it ok.

[xkot.livejournal.com]

I can certainly understand getting to the point where you're lonely enough to do things you normally wouldn't. If he was bragging to you about it, though, I get the impression he's proud he can bag a "straight" guy moreso than other causes.

[profundis.livejournal.com]

When I "tsk tsk"ed him he replied "what for?" like he just had no concept that what he was doing was unethical.

If you don't respect someone else's relationship how can you expect people to respect yours? And jeez, with as many open relationships as there are today, do you even *need* to go out of bounds? ;)

[xkot.livejournal.com]

Heh yeah, it's not like it's terribly difficult to find a couple of guys to have a three-way with who are fine with that in their relationship... sometimes that seems like it's ALL you can find.

[profundis.livejournal.com]

Oh! oh! It get's better! While he's been single (and some before that) he's been after some guy LD that he's been waiting to move nearby...who just moved to his town and had a date with him (but trying not to fall to fast for him) This is a like the pilot for a Karmic sitcom, I can't wait to see how it pans out.

[profundis.livejournal.com]

LOL! The sad thing is I'm sure it is to some people. I'm sure many of us have done thing weren't proud of, but how many planned it out in advance and bragged about it? Sheesh!

[planecrashcub.livejournal.com]

Well.. I actually met my last long term boyfriend while he was married to his ex-wife... And no regrets on my end... He is one of the best people I've ever met in my life.

[profundis.livejournal.com]

Meeting someone on their way out of the closet and being "the other woman" are not necessarily the same thing. There are plenty of gay guys in a marriage trap - that isn't what I take issue with, its an agenda of cheating with them /on them. I'm not claiming to be pure and innocent, just a lil wiser for my mistakes.

[planecrashcub.livejournal.com]

Well.. Thats definitely how we started. And then caught. I personally have a thing for "straight" guys... I guess I just don't see the the big deal about it... If I could hook up with two "married" guys... I think I'd be all about it. hahha

[profundis.livejournal.com]

Well I don't have any issues about getting with str8 guys - I don't care if a guy is gay, str8 or bi, as long as he's for real. The big deal is the other person that you are helping him cheat on - whether a wife or partner etc - and their feelings about it. Would you not expect your spouse to be faithful to you?

[planecrashcub.livejournal.com]

I guess on my end... It would just be the type of relationship that I have set up... Tho I know my next relationship will be monogomous... But I'm just ready for that...

But on the other end.. I guess I'm just evil... And figure its between them and theirs...

I guess my biggest point is that I would never really snub my nose at someone who is into that.... Cuz I don't see the big deal about it.. and think its pretty freakin hot... hah

[huffdaddyatl.livejournal.com]

I've done (and will probably do) worse things, but in the spirit and
definition of discretion I've not talked about it (let alone bragged
about it.)

um...

Until now.

d'OH!

[profundis.livejournal.com]

LOL! Slut! *lick*

I'm sure we will all have our screw-ups, dude. It was the casual braggin about it that turned me off. Adultery / cheating is not cool - I'm disappointed in how little concern I hear for the unknowing partner /spouse in such ongoing affairs when guys talk about them. The times I've overstepped, I've always felt manipulated, guilty, or some combination of those afterwards - not all happy to advertise it - much less make a practice of it.

[dawdle.livejournal.com]

Not to agree (or disagree) with what he's doing, but unless he seduced them into the threeway, those homes wuz wrecked long before he got there. He's just taking advantage of that.

[profundis.livejournal.com]

I've heard that excuse used many times (and used it myself once) and it just doesn't hold water. Its used to make the "other man" feel better about his actions. Until a couple is divorced / split up the house ain't wrecked yet - even if its in disrepair.

That's kind of like saying "well this bank was already broken into and they left the door unlocked so I'll help myself to the money."

[dawdle.livejournal.com]

I'm not arguing that what the guy is doing isn't pretty tasteless, I guess my issue is specifically with the word homewrecker. It's a term that has a long pejorative history of misogyny and homophobia, taking the blame for the failure of a marriage away from the person who actually made the vows and placing it on "the other woman" or the "evil fag," seducing otherwise moral men into actions beyond their control. That doesn't seem to be the case here - these guys would just move onto the next hard dick or wet hole - so I still think it's not really a fair term. It's possible these marriages could be repaired, and he's certainly not helping matters, but I wouldn't call him much more than a slutty jerk - using the word homewrecker gives him *way* too much power in this situation.

[profundis.livejournal.com]

I see your point (and raise you one) - by enabling the "str8" guys in their adultery he is unwittingly contributing to the overall breakdown of the relationship - even if the marriage itself is shored up by the guys getting an outlet they wouldn't otherwise have. I think its just too messy a situation to participate in without gettin' some on ya. ;)

[jefferzephyr.livejournal.com]

!! =-p

[42degrees.livejournal.com]

So what do you think the second date will be like?

[johnspiff.livejournal.com]

sigh bear411, the bane of peoples existance

[profundis.livejournal.com]

Oh naw, its not all so bad. ;)