Just..damn.

[profundis]

Chatting with a guy on 411 and he informs me that his agenda after work is to have a 3-way with two married guys. "Married to each other?" I ask, since he lives near enough to both Massachusetts and Canada for that to be the case. "Nope, to two different women" he says. Nice. I hold out the hope that at least the good ladies have given their blessing to this tryst but alas, he admits to a clandestine rendezvous. WTF? This is a cute guy - he should easily be able to get laid without playing homewrecker to TWO households simultaneously. It's one thing to do it accidentally, in the heat of the moment unexpectedly or for mistaken reasons, but to be so conscious and premeditated about it...Now I've lost all interest in him.

Comments

[profundis.livejournal.com]

I've heard that excuse used many times (and used it myself once) and it just doesn't hold water. Its used to make the "other man" feel better about his actions. Until a couple is divorced / split up the house ain't wrecked yet - even if its in disrepair.

That's kind of like saying "well this bank was already broken into and they left the door unlocked so I'll help myself to the money."

[dawdle.livejournal.com]

I'm not arguing that what the guy is doing isn't pretty tasteless, I guess my issue is specifically with the word homewrecker. It's a term that has a long pejorative history of misogyny and homophobia, taking the blame for the failure of a marriage away from the person who actually made the vows and placing it on "the other woman" or the "evil fag," seducing otherwise moral men into actions beyond their control. That doesn't seem to be the case here - these guys would just move onto the next hard dick or wet hole - so I still think it's not really a fair term. It's possible these marriages could be repaired, and he's certainly not helping matters, but I wouldn't call him much more than a slutty jerk - using the word homewrecker gives him *way* too much power in this situation.

[profundis.livejournal.com]

I see your point (and raise you one) - by enabling the "str8" guys in their adultery he is unwittingly contributing to the overall breakdown of the relationship - even if the marriage itself is shored up by the guys getting an outlet they wouldn't otherwise have. I think its just too messy a situation to participate in without gettin' some on ya. ;)